This article was originally published on Humorality, on October 31, 2008.
Flight data recorder found intact on plane
In a move that seeks to keep his campaign on the electoral offensive, Senator Barack Obama today ejected three reporters from his campaign plane after their affiliated newspapers endorsed his opponent, Senator John McCain. A ground search continues for the reporters.
The scuffle happened soon after the flight reached its cruising altitude of 32,000 feet. According to reporters from news organizations endorsing the Democratic ticket, Mr. Obama asked reporters for the New York Post, the Washington Times, and the Dallas Morning News to join him near the plane’s exit door so that they could get a “bird’s eye view” of citizens on their way to early voting. An unnamed press pool representative witnessed what happened next. “Without warning, Barack grabbed on to the nearby jump seat, opened the door’s handle, and smiled as the three reporters were sucked out of the plane along with their cell phones. The Times reporter had one of those new Blackberry Bold phones; it was so cool.”
This is not the first time that someone has fallen from an elected official’s plane. In 1998, Hillary Clinton summarily tossed her husband, President Bill Clinton, from Air Force One soon after she discovered the full details of the Monica Lewinsky scandal. As they were traveling through fly-over country at the time, the 42nd president simply bounced to a safe landing in a wheat field using the same method demonstrated by Fred MacMurray in the 1961 movie The Absent-Minded Professor. After a few chuckles, the secret service gave Mrs. Clinton a stern lecture about the safety of the president.
The search continues for the three reporters. Although they might have landed safely, the fact that they were flying over blue states at the time puts them at grave risk. “I feel sorry for them,” said Joe the Reporter, on staff with the Washington Post. “They were clearly first on the scene with this story, but I’ll still be able to scoop them. That’s the news business.”