Obama, Liver up 14% in Polls

This article was originally published on Humorality, on October 17, 2008.

Backlash against steak intensifies

As the 2008 election season enters its final weeks, voters are being overwhelmed by a constant barrage of polls tracking the race for the presidency. And while most polls show Democratic Senator Barack Obama with a 2% to 6% popular advantage among likely voters, a new survey released on October 14 by the New York Times and CBS News shows Republican Senator John McCain flailing by as much as 14%. The poll also indicates that Americans how favor liver over steak by a similar percentage.

“It’s really good news, both for myself and for America,” quipped Senator Obama at a $1,000 per plate liver-and-onion fundraiser. “This is the type of protein-based change and hope that American needs in these trying times.”

Some on the Republican side of the contest, including members of Senator McCain’s own campaign team, have balked at the four-day survey. “The poll clearly underrepresents the percentage of Republican voters,” complained McCain senior campaign adviser Steve Schmidt, “as well as the percentage of vegetarians and vegans.”

The controversial poll has done little to lessen get-out-the-vote efforts. A Republican supporter in Dayton, Ohio summed up the feeling on the street. “Polls don’t matter; votes do. And it’s our job to see that on November 4, Americans line up at their precincts with John McCain in their hearts and steak sauce on their breath.”