The Electoral College has been a core fixture of American presidential elections since the nation’s founding. But do you know anyone who ever graduated from it? It almost seems like a scam. I mean, I pay all of these...
Author - Tim Patrick
Tim Patrick
Trust Me, I’m Your Friend
A few weeks ago, when I was having lunch with Taylor Swift and Ichiro Suzuki, Joe Biden dipped his head into the conversation and asked me how I continue to be such a snappy dresser and still sport all of my original...
We Will Forget
As a child of the seventies, my older relatives assured me that they remembered exactly what they were doing when news of President Kennedy being shot arrived. The event was still fairly recent, just a decade or so...
Your President Will Disappoint
America is “the land of opportunity,” where anyone who combines good old-fashioned elbow grease and a little bit of luck can accomplish anything. Many parents even tell their young charges, “Gwendolyn, someday you could...
National Conversation, Blah, Blah, Blah
When something bad happens, such as a school shooting, or the shocking death of someone in police custody, or a tweet being sent out by the President, some politician will get on a podcast or interview show and insist...
I’m Hysterical, and I’m Wet!
If you think back beyond the pandemic, beyond the riots over police tactics, beyond the lockdowns and the resulting unemployment and business failures—I’m talking way back, like weeks—we used to worry about something...
Back to School, Or Else
When I was a kid, my parents made me go to school—get this—five days per week. Each morning, they would say, “Tim, it’s time to get ready for school,” and each time I would stare back at them blankly, since I hadn’t...
Your Mask Is In My Face!
The other day, I had a fight about wearing masks with someone on Facebook. I know what you’re thinking: “Two people can’t wear the same mask simultaneously, especially over Facebook.” And yet, here we were, two grown...
This Weekend’s “March for Our Lives” Event Won’t Change Anything, and Here’s Why
This past weekend, hundreds of thousands of youths descended on Washington, DC, to demand changes in gun control legislation across the nation. The event grew in response to the Parkland, Florida, mass shooting that...
Why Conservatives Like Guns
The recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida, once again raises that pesky question: Why are conservatives so gaga about firearms? In the days following the gruesome attack, many news outlets and commentators...