Latest Articles

  • Why This is (Probably) My Last Political Article
    This is probably the last political article I will write on this web site. I’ll wait a moment for the cheers to die down. You might think it strange that a site created to discuss current events and politics would stop uploading such content. It is strange for me as well, and a decent respect for the opinions of my readers requires that I should declare the causes that impel me to cease writing such posts. (7 more paragraphs)
  • How to Read a Newspaper Article
    The literacy rate in the United States sits around ninety-nine percent, but sometimes you have to wonder about the accuracy of that metric given the type of stuff that passes for reading material. I am, of course, talking about a recent article in the Los Angeles Times entitled, “Pastor dies of COVID-19 weeks after Fontana megachurch reopened for indoor services.” The staff-written post appeared on the Times’ web site on December 3, 2020. (10 more paragraphs)
  • Am I a Voter Fraud Enabler?
    I don’t know if you’ve been reading the news lately, but one of the presidential candidates this time around thinks the election wasn’t on the up and up. “Voter fraud” is on everyone’s lips, whether they’re insisting it happened or sure that it didn’t. (8 more paragraphs)
  • What Went Wrong with the Republican Party?
    With the Electoral College victory of Joe Biden, yet another sitting Republican president has gone down in defeat and shame. Back in the 1970s, President Ford recognized that the nation had passed through a “long national nightmare,” instigated by his Republican predecessor. Here in the twenty-first century, journalists invoke Ford’s national-nightmare mantra to describe the actions of the current Republican chief executive. Despite being lifted up as the “party of family values,” the moral failings and temper tantrums of the party’s sitting leader have yet again tied the words “Republican” and “conservative” to a recognizable litany of human weaknesses. (10 more paragraphs)
  • Time is Running Out to Commit Voter Fraud!
    The 2020 presidential election is just a week away, which means you are almost out of time to activate your voter fraud strategy. Given the distributed nature of elections in the Unites States, where each of the over 3,000 counties, parishes, and boroughs in the nation manage their own voting processes, the only way to achieve a stolen election is to impact most, if not all, of these districts. Therefore, swaying this election is really in your filthy, grimy hands. Fortunately, the news media and major parties have all been warning about a plot to “steal the election,” so your nefarious plans should meld right into the narrative. (10 more paragraphs)
  • How to Read Coronavirus Stories Without Freaking Out
    The coronavirus situation seems to get worse each day. The six o’clock news used to start off with moderate predictions of impending doom: “Santa Claus is coming to town. Is your family at risk?” But now it’s wall-to-wall COVID-19 coverage, and journalists really mean it this time. Everyone is on edge due to the fear of infection, and it’s nearly impossible to read the headlines without doing wee-wee in your pants. (9 more paragraphs)
  • The Electoral College, Is It the School for You?
    The Electoral College has been a core fixture of American presidential elections since the nation’s founding. But do you know anyone who ever graduated from it? It almost seems like a scam. I mean, I pay all of these taxes, and yet the government couldn’t find the wherewithal to send me a cool Latin-encrusted electoral diploma. And don’t get me started on the quality of that college’s sports teams. (9 more paragraphs)
  • Trust Me, I’m Your Friend
    A few weeks ago, when I was having lunch with Taylor Swift and Ichiro Suzuki, Joe Biden dipped his head into the conversation and asked me how I continue to be such a snappy dresser and still sport all of my original flowing locks despite being, what, in my early- to mid-thirties? I laughed out loud. “It’s the company I keep, Joe!” Taylor laughed, too. Ichiro wasn’t amused, and simply tugged at his shirt sleeve. (11 more paragraphs)
  • We Will Forget
    As a child of the seventies, my older relatives assured me that they remembered exactly what they were doing when news of President Kennedy being shot arrived. The event was still fairly recent, just a decade or so earlier, and Walter Cronkite was no slouch when it came to delivering sober, memorable news. Yet some of my relatives were really old, old enough to have gone through multiple presidential murders. Why didn’t any of them ever mention the assassinations of Garfield or McKinley? (13 more paragraphs)
  • Your President Will Disappoint
    America is “the land of opportunity,” where anyone who combines good old-fashioned elbow grease and a little bit of luck can accomplish anything. Many parents even tell their young charges, “Gwendolyn, someday you could grow up to become President of the United States!” What a cruel, heartless, debilitating thing to say to Gwendolyn, if that’s even her real name. (9 more paragraphs)

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