With the economy struggling and federal spending at an all-time high, the Obama Administration is taking a bold step to improve the long-term economic outlook. Yesterday, officials from the State Department posted an...
Tag - economy
Tim Patrick
Obama to Invoke Emergency Superhero Powers
With the economy continuing its downward spiral, Iran counting the days until its nuclear dreams come true, and a general malaise within the Democratic Party, President Barack Obama announced today that he would invoke...
Fed Raises Unemployment Rate by a Quarter Point
The Federal Reserve, the mysterious quasi-governmental agency charged with distributing and managing the nation's supply of pocket-sized presidential portraits, announced today that it is raising the national...
Schools to Lay Off Money-Losing Kids
As states continue to spew red ink, many school districts are taking immediate action to stem the financial flow. And it comes with a dose of good news: no teachers will lose their jobs in the process. The solution...
Santa Claus Laid Off
The North Pole Board of Directors today filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for its overnight delivery service, and announced the immediate suspension of division president Santa Claus from his regular gift...
Obama Replaces Cabinet with Entertainment Center
In an afternoon press conference in Atlanta, Georgia, President Barack Obama today announced the replacement of his cabinet with a solid-oak entertainment center.
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US Solves Credit Crisis, Credit Cards
"Big Debt told us about secret programs that credit card companies and banks don't want you to know about. We were able to cut 200 billion in credit card debt right off the top. And with easy monthly terms, and an...